Beloved Blog Post #2

There is a segment from Beloved that I chose to riff on, not only because I found it to be an amazing representation about how women feel the need to act and look in the presence of men, but because it shows the type of relationship that women crave from their male counterparts. 

“Although her eyes were closed, Sethe knew his gaze was on her face, and a paper picture of just how bad she must look raised itself up before her mind’s eye. Still, there was no mockery coming from his gaze. It felt soft in a wanting kind of way. He was not judging her-or rather he was judging but not comparing her. Nor since Halle had a man looked at her that way: not loving or passionate, but interested, as was more like a brother than a husband. His care suggested a family relationship rather than a man’s lying claim.” (31). Wow. I am just at a loss for words right now. Too often women are concerned with how they look, especially when it comes to men. Am I pretty enough? Should I lose some weight? What if he doesn’t like me? Every woman has been plagued with these questions at some point in their life, whether they are conscious of it or not. The need to be good enough in the eyes of a man is something that has been ingrained in women since the beginning of time. Not only does this passage challenge a patriarchal relationship that’s all too familiar, it shows that a man can be more than just a husband. Typically, husbands are placed in a position of dominance which often doesn't produce genuine love and because of that, an unequal balance is created. When the relationship that’s more familial, a woman can feel more relaxed and not like she has to walk on pins and needles because there is no fear. 

What I believe a woman really wants is a man who can look at her from the outside and look beyond her physical beauty. That his love for her is not only based on what is seen, but by what's inside of her mind, her being; her character. For a woman to truly feel loved, being called beautiful is simply NOT enough. At least that’s how I see it. WHY is she beautiful? What makes her attractive? If a man can’t come up with a reason other than the physical, well...there’s a problem.